[Second entry of the night. I'm on a roll. Ha.]

I finally finished a book today that I have been picking up on and off. It was a long time coming but I'm glad I took the time to finish and properly understand it. I don't like to rush through books because it makes me feel like I'm running a how-many-yard dash just for the record and to show off that OhMy I am Such a Prolific and Fast Reader. Like ok, yah, whatever.

As I was saying, it's a book everyone should read. I felt mildly depressed because relationships never seem tougher after I closed the book and I wondered about his sappy happy ending.

That said I also felt strangely edified because I know I did the right thing a little over a year and a half ago.

"Can two people walk together unless they be agreed?"

No, they can't.

And I'm glad we agreed. I'm glad he made me take responsibility for this decision as much as he assures me of his decision. I'm glad it's our decision.

As a matter of fact, it was such a responsible decision that it's easy to think it's a sealed promise. It's easy to think--and I have fallen countless times to the temptation--that we will walk down, ahem, sorry, I will walk down the aisle, to him. It is scary to think that we may not.

It is really, really ... unimaginable.

For me, at least.

And I wonder how is it that, knowing He has the best plan for me, the most beautiful love story for me, knowing these, how is it that I do not trust Him? I say 'do not trust' because I do not wholly believe. If I do, I wouldn't have a lump in my throat every time the thought enters my head.

It is a grudging submission--why can't I submit joyfully?

Anyway. Take things easy, right? Ha Ha. Be so serious, for what? Right?

Easier said than done, lah, ok.

So. Boy Meets Girl, by Joshua Harris. Read it!

Onto more ego-boosting, self-uplifting books. Like books that tell women how beautiful they really are. Even if NO ONE SAYS and/or THINKS SO. And even if the WHOLE WORLD says only 35-23-34 + 5'7 are the most alluring.

It's true, ok. Women. We Rock. Yeah.

:D