It is really something to lose sight of where you're going. Or where you wanted to go in the first place. It doesn't help that I have a poor sense of direction to begin with. And am rather forgetful.

I don't know about tomorrow
I just live from day to day
I don't borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to gray

Really. I still don't know about love. What is it, really? When two people are in love, are they supposed to bring out the best in each other? What if they don't? Does that mean they don't love each other? Or maybe they're not loving each other in the right way?

Is there a 'right' way?

What about dreams? Shouldn't two people be able to bounce off each other and spur each other onto greater pastures?

Are there different ways to love, then?

I have a paper to work on, yet I'm still thinking about things like these. Why do things like these pop into my head at the most inopportune times?

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand

Do I? Do I really, from the bottom of my heart and soul and mind?


I get more and more tired of superficialities that surround me. Small talk about things that don't matter. Smiles that don't reach the eyes. Voices that speak from wary hearts.

What am I doing where I am?

What happened to my paintbrushes, (and WHY IS IT ALWAYS PAINTBRUSHES anyway? I HATE REFERRING TO FASHIONABLE ... STUFF)? Floosy dreams... easy laughter... Oh God I can't even remember them. Sillythings. Happythings. I don't want to be a disgusting jaded adult!!

Give me back the colours, you-whoever-who-stole-it.


Have I really lost myself since?

Am I shedding that for a better me, or have I just screwed up real bad?


Should I just stop digging into the old chest and let ghosts rest?

But what if they were right? UGH! I can't even begin to imagine that.


No. I must have confidence. I must believe in better judgement. And I must have faith in these better hands.

But help me, for I am so weak and proud.