I don't know what is wrong and I wish I do. I'm having less and less to say and harbouring less and less opinions. I think it's because I know so little.

And I really know so little. It's not like those people who know too much and therefore come to some enlightenment about how little they know, but the kind where you realize you don't know what everyone is talking about, superficial or intellectual, and it makes you feel stupid and what have you been doing with those 24 hours!?.

What is wrong with me?


And my period is late. It's irritating and annoying when you've been waiting and waiting for something and it's not here as promised. I can't do my work. I get disgusting PMS that's wrecking havoc on my relationship. I get blah and flah and gahbishbah and,

Oh, look, a happy bouncing forever girlish giggly girl has just came online.

And WHY am I giving her the evil eye about the impossibly girly photo she has on her MSN?

It's everyone's right to be impossibly girly, and she's genuinely nice and friendly, but maybe all that sugar is really getting on my nerves.

I don't like to be happy and bouncy and girlishly cute complete with a big fat chirpy flower.

But I do. I secretly wish I can be happy and bouncy and girlishly stupidly cute without feeling stupid and unworldly-ly UNgrounded for being so. Hence my snide smile. Hence my evil eye. Hence my 'Aiya Whatver Lah I'm just NotLikeThat'. Foolishly I believe that being grouchy is the new cool.

Yucks. What is Really Wrong with me!

Whatever lah. I got some stupid proposal to hand in in, 24 hours? Ha. I have lost all motivation. I think that's the primary problem. Because there is no more hope of getting a silly Second Upper I am throwing in the towel.

Evil Voice says Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, but who says there is No Hope?? There is ALWAYS Hope, hmmmm? As long as there is TOMORROW, there is Always Always hope! Cue for happy bouncy purple dinosaur and likes.

Gross.

I can hear a circular arguement coming on and I can't be bothered to indulge it. You can write 12,000 words on it though. Here, the buzzwords are: Hope, Impetus, and Cynic. Do add in loads of logic too.

Growl.