this exchange thing is driving me nuts. i'm so stressed over it.

accomodation is a mess. please pray that i'll get a room. actually, please pray that this whole thing will just be smooth.

and i haven't submit my study plan for approval. or rather, i'm not sure if its approved. i haven't buy winter clothes. i'm scared i won't have enough finances to sustain me there. i'm scared i'll waste my time there, and waste my parents' resources. i'm scared i'm forgetting to do or settle things.

i'm worrying too much, i know. but its so damn scary. and this holiday just feels like, that--a holiday. it doesn't feel like i'm leaving for canada. doesn't feel like i'm going for exchange. it just feels like an idyllic time after exams to breathe. catch up with friends. spend all day(s) with him, enjoying the break together. we have dates to go on, movies to watch, meals to savour, new things to try. that's what this holiday feels like. time at home. connecting with my parents. my sister. my brother.

i can't believe in less than 30 days i'll be halfway across the world.

it's freaking me out.