I always feel that there is much more to people than they appear. That there is a 'deeper' them that I don't know about. I get frustrated when I fail to glimpse that 'deeper' them, when they respond in the same, flat, indifferent way. I get frustrated when after several interactions, they maintain that distant, vacant space between us; like an impenetratable vacuum, like a void which I cannot bridge to get closer. I start to question whether is it me? Do people feel like they can't trust me? Do I make people want to maintain a space? Do I make people not want to let me get close?

I've met a couple of guys like that. And I'm beginning to think, maybe they ARE like that. They are just impossible to grasp. They do not intend or deliberately appear elusive or guarded or cold, but they are just like that. Wood-like. Nothing much moves them. ... Is it me or is it them then? Or have I been not, open and harmless enough? Have I not invested enough patience? What if I've known the guy for, like, 6 years??

Bah. The weather's so freaking humid. I'm feeling so sticky and hot. AND some BUGGER stole my door-stopper. LOSER.