it has been on my mind, what i'm gonna blog about, one of those things you think and ponder about, but today it hit me with crystal-clear clarity.

that you may love a person with all your heart and soul, unconditionally and with no questions asked, that you're willing to do anything for him/her, anything at all, even to kill yourself to help him (in some perverse way?), or to die for him, or to.. whatever.

one may do that. but that love that runs so deep in your blood and bone, can still be worn away. yes, worn away like water wears rough-edged rocks into smooth pebbles -- aesthetic to the eyes and touch, but cold to its core.

i'm talking about love between two people -- single & dating, seriously dating, newly-weds, married with 3 kids, married with grandchildren from their kids...

i'm talking about love in the family -- how you love your parents, how your parents love you, etc. but love in the family is much more complex -- because it's about love in the blood.

i'm talking about how one can love another so much (man/woman whatever) that they date, they get engaged, they get married, they have kids. they start a (friggin') family. and one of them change. change beyond all comprehension. not change like he/she gets an affair or what. change like his/her habits about lifestyle etc.

now, follow me here. if you (friggin') love your other-half, and if it has come to your knowledge that your actions/deed/words/blahblahblah is hurting your other-half, wouldn't you (naturally) wanna stop hurting him/her? and if it is your fault, isn't the obvious thing to do is to (FUCKING) stop doing it?

my point is, if one party keeps hurting the other in a relationship, knowingly (but not necessarily intentionally), and you put that in a perspective of two decades, where would that leave you?

nowhere. nowhere at all.

your other-half's heart will become a pebble. and however immense that love (once may have been), it will be worn away to a dull, monotonous thud.

and it doesn't make a difference if you're dating, or newly-wedded, or married with 3 kids, or married with a dozen grandchildren. it doesn't matter at all.