:: i'm sorry ::

i do manage to scew things up all the time.
i scream at you. i hang up on you.
i throw fucked up tantrums.
i keep fucking quiet.
i throw a wet blanket on your perfect day.
i spoil your cheery mood.
i bake a pie and i smash it in the bin.
i respond in monosyllabi.
i talk lifelessly.
i refuse to pick myself up.
i allow myself to sink into the whirlpool of self-loathe.
i indulge myself in moping.
i cry.
i cry.
i cry.
i cry.
i cry.
i cry. i cry. i cry. i cry.
i cant stop crying.
i allow myself to do such things, and dare hope for a patient soul to see
beyond my actions and words.
i'm sorry.
i really am, just calling for help.