:: blah ::

i ought to sound more optimistic in my bloggie.
hello diary. haha

dear diary,

i'm sorry i'm always bombarding you with sad despondent thoughts and events.
today was horrid as well.
i guess soon if i say my day is ok you would think by default that it was horrid.

nooooo.
i'm bubbly!!!!!!!!!
ha.

i feel zapped. drained.
i feel so lifeless.
hopeless.
i feel like the sunlight went out of me.
i feel dead.
my heart is turning cold.
i walk around, as though in a trance.
my smile.
bright, cheery, happy, warm.
becomes
fixated, plastered, and full of forced optimism.

pray i snap out of this soon.