:: null ::

i finally lost it. broke down. distraught.

all the illusions suddenly crashed down on me, like a schizophrenic suddenly realizing that half his life had been a lie, that those whom he thought were there were actually never there, and that suddenly, the world in which he lived was an illusion. And now he walks alone.

feels emptied. drained. sapped. souless. it scares me. it thrills me. yet i'm conscious. and still some lean on me.

it's nice to give up completely, once in a while.