:: in e office ::

sigh.
it's just so aimless now again. it's like you're at a crossroad -- in the most cliche terms. you stand at some place and you dunno if you should just stand there or move on. move on, then where? sometimes we dream about the road less travelled..hmm...how about the direction less travelled? lol. sorry. was juz trying to be lame. haha. but seriously. arghz. dearest dearest diary....you know what i truly TRULY want to do? haha... i want to fly away to the most foreign land. i want to travel around the entire world. with no woes. no worries. i want my family to support me in my out of the world dreams. i dun want them to look at me with that indulgent look, the look you give to a child when you know what they're saying is impossible, cuz once upon a long time ago you used to dream about that too. i dun want to lose this dream. i dun want their resignation to life to get to me. i dun want their apathy to rub off me. or infect me. or influence me. i want them to dream WITH ME. i want them to LET ME WORK towards my dreams. and even if somehow i stumble and i fall, i want them to continue believing in me. CUZ I BELIEVE IN MY DREAMS. but i cant go there if they're not with me. i want them to be happy, SINCERELY, GENUINELY happy that I'M HAPPY. it's so easy to say..."we're happy as long as you're happy" but are they truly? god i feel like crying...not in frustration or anger, or pity, or sorrow, or helplessness. but juz, Pure crying. Pure Tears. Borne out of Pure overwhelming of emotions. and nothin else.

life is like a waking dream sometimes. you can see everything that's happening, and you prob knows where everythin is going to lead. but you cant goddamnit wake up from the dream. or stop anything. or change anything. you juz watch. a spectator of your own life.

or izzit? oh well. grinz.

que sera sera.